All That Is Dark and Beautiful

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imageimageimageimageAutumn goes fast!! Sometimes it’s too full to keep track in words and posts, so here’s a quick cram session of all the things wonderful and a bit unbelievable that happened along with crunching leaves, bonfires, trick-or-treat, PTO Vice Presidency (shut up), soccer season, Apple Festival, a NINE YEAR Wedding Anniversary, a new legit job at A.L. Terry Jewelers, Back to the Future Pt 2 celebrations, reading amazing stories at Menacing Hedge…. you get the idea, things are booming!! In the midst of all that, there’s also this:

MORE!! At Booked.

Halloween means the annual Spookedtacular, and this year was a two hour NyQuil and beer fest of The Final Girls, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, urban legends, serial killers, and sincere love and vitriol splattered in all directions between Robb Olson, Livius Nedin, Jesse Lawrence and myself. Is a Christmas special coming, with the four of us? You bet! AND! At the beginning of 2016 while Robb and Liv take a Disney Cruise (or whatever it is they do when they can’t record) Craig Clevenger and I will be holding down the Booked. fort and co-hosting an episode ourselves. It should be hot. But more on that later! Click HERE to be taken to the Spookedtacular 2015,

Pantheon Magazine Winter Edition

A little sad, sweet piece of mine has been accepted at the lovely Pantheon Magazine. “Orphans” will appear in the “Hestia” edition. It’s a beautiful publication and I’m honored I’ll be found in its pages!

UPDATES for ‘Gutted: Beautiful Horror’ Table of Contents

If you don’t know what the anthology is about, click HERE to find out a little more about the depths of darkness and beauty coming from Crystal Lake publishing in 2016. It was incredible enough when I learned Neil Gaiman was on the roster, along with authors John F.D. Taff, Brian Kirk, and (one of my own) Richard Thomas – who needs a shout-out and huge thanks for tossing my name their way – THEN editors extraordinaire Doug Murano and D. Alexander Ward announced on Halloween that along with all of us, Clive Barker will be including a story. It’s a bit surreal at this point, and I can’t wait to hear who’s announced next!  My story, “Cellar’s Dog,” is gangly and bizarre and pretty in its own way, and I’ll be forever grateful the editors could see what I saw when that black dog walked into those headlight beams.

So there you have it. The leaves are barely gone and already the Autumn is so full of goodness, I’m not sure where to go from here! Up? Or maybe I’ll just swim awhile. Float. Hug my lovelies and enjoy the laughter and the warmth. I think this is the top.

Thank you all so much for reading!

Amanda

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A Seriously Big Day

So.

I’ve had a lot of good news recently.

Let’s jump right in!

imageArtwork by Caitlin Hackett

In 2016, Crystal Lake Publishing is releasing an anthology called “Gutted: Beautiful Horror” that editors D. Alexander Ward and Doug Murano describe as “A series of stories that explores the tension between beauty and horror, wonder and terror, sorrow and transcendence. It’s a book of scars, regret and loneliness. But through it all, it’s a book where hope can still exist and beauty can still thrive.” They’ve only made a few Table of Contents announcements – four names thus far, to be exact, and they go as follows:

Neil Gaiman (you read that right)

Brian Kirk

John F. D. Taff

ME! YES, ME!!

The story they accepted is my much-labored-over, genre-crossing, over-long and painfully dear to me “Cellar’s Dog.” It clocks in at over 6k words and involves Appalachia, hounds, drugs, myth and the tiny glimmer of hope for redemption. I couldn’t be prouder that it’s this story out of everything I’ve written that will be included alongside these incredible people. And I can’t WAIT to find out who else will be in the book.

And! AND!

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Artwork by Brian Despain

The beautiful people over at Menacing Hedge are bringing me on as a Fiction Editor to sift and slush with Craig Wallwork, which is kind of like being asked to come over to best friend’s house to play as your JOB. I love Kelly Boyker and I love Craig, and it’s incredible to be helping choose the short fiction for a journal I submitted to with crossed fingers!

I’ll begin reading now-to-soon-ish, so send us your best!! The Fall Issue will be up soon with more specifics…

So.

I guess I’ll go to sleep, and see if this is still true in the morning.

Seriously, Autumn 2015, I frickin’ LOVE you….

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Well Hey, September

And in a blink, summer disappeared!

It’s cool, though. I’ve been selling jewelry and being Mom, and as the leaves get crinkly and the toads disappear I’ll slide back into my writer-bubble and my skin will feel settled again….

Speaking of!!

The last week I’ve had a good run.

Firstly, Kevin Catalano did an article for Entropy Magazine about 25 Badass Female Short Story Writers, and BOOM! I was in there. Click the link to the article for sure, because all these females kick some short story ass and there are links galore to their stories for proof of their prowess, including to my story “Teetotaler.”

5 + 20 Female Short Story Writers You Should Be Reading RIGHT NOW

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And then today I sorta accidentally found out my story “The Line Forms on the Right” from the Burnt Tongues anthology (edited by Chuck Palahniuk, Richard Rhomas and Dennis Widmyer, Medallion Press) was Long-Listed for the Best Horror of the Year, Volume 7, edited by Ellen Datlow. Not only were some of my bestest and most favorite writing peeps on the list, but also the likes of Caitlin Kiernan and Etgar Kerat! I fully realize there are a lot of names on there (it’s called a ‘long list’) but that’s just more good company to be in. Check this out:

Full Rec List – Best Horror of the Year,Volume Seven, edited by Ellen Datlow

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And of course get the ACTUAL REAL VOLUME SEVEN, it’s obviously amazing. As is Burnt Tongues, which had SEVEN stories on the long list!! The link for BT is in the Links tab above.

I’m a happy girl!!

More news to come, but we’ll talk about that in October. For now, I’ll leave you with a little Bobby Darin – the song that inspired my story in Burnt Tongues, and one of my favorites of all time.

Love to you all!! ❤️

 

 

First Frost

The trees are dripping orange-brown leaves, they sound like crumpled paper, and I can see the potential for winter to Not Completely Suck. Yes, I’m sick, but the fire is going and the sky is blue, blue, blue. And I have coffee and a 5 lb dog that thinks I folded the throw blanket just-like-that specifically as a bed for him, so things are okay.

I like this part, when the palettes shift. White grass and red leaves. A sparkle at the edge of the petrified leaves.

yes, I am full of purple prose this morning. Largely observational purple prose. pumpkins with witch hats cling to the windows, Cheshire Cat pajama pants, red coffee mug, quiet, schoolbus passing the window, wisps of clouds. Copper. That’s the best word to sum up the morning, to distill the rambling. Copper.

Happy November. Happy transition month. May your socks be warm and your skies blue.

 

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HALLOWEEN IS HERE! Family Trick or Treat & Booked. Spookedtacular!

Happy Halloween! It may be rainy and damp, but the weak light and various colds have not dampened spirits this week. Below, see what happens when my son says “Star Wars” and then listen to what happens when Booked. says “What plan? It’s Halloween!” Thanks for a helluva week.

Also, ‘sexy’ Han Solo is just Han Solo – dig my lean….

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Click the Booked. pumpkin to be transported to the SPOOKEDTACULAR!!

Click the Booked. pumpkin to be transported to the SPOOKEDTACULAR!!

 

 

What We Need Is More Phooootoooos….

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My Life is Pretty F#*king Great

Walmart is a necessary evil in my corner of the hills. Where else am i going to buy toilet paper in bulk, and deodorant at two for three dollars? But it has a way of sucking the life force right outta me. It drains me, makes me bitter, growly and ready to squinch my eyebrows together at the rest of the day. The cart feels 300 pounds and my soul is nearly empty by the time I leave. maybe on the way to a parking space a woman walks out in front of me and i have to slam on my brakes to avoid smashing both she and her toddler, and instead of waving a “Thanks for not smashing my inattentive self” she stands at my hood, cursing at me, trying to coax me out of the car so she can beat the hell out of me while her now-unattended toddler watches. maybe I see a thousand year old woman cart-check a man with his little kid so she can slide her overfilled cart into line before he can ring up his loaf of bread. Maybe while pushing my bulk toilet paper and cheap deodorant closer to escape, a carful of tweakers in a half-brokedown Corsica yell at me, over and over, about all of the different things they want to put in all the different places of my body.

by 10am, my day can feel ruined. There’s a carful of groceries to unload. A chihuahua that discovers, anew, each day, that indeed he has a voice and he is proud and will be heard! i’m not going to get by doing one load of laundry when there are clearly seven to be done, and the sink is full of dishes and the floor – that’s covered with matchbox cars – needs swept, and my husband thinks the hamper is a little pile next to the bed…

and my eyebrows are knitted. Because blah, that’s why. so i unload my groceries while washing a load of laundry and sweep the floor and try to get things done before i chance sitting down, and i go outside…

…to hang sheets on the line…

and the sky is blue, blue, blue as far as i can see. the clothesline is in a green yard, within sight of the horse pasture, and the horses are swishing their tails and grazing, behind me is a tiny little perfect house at the edge of a huge forest, and that’s where i get to live. there’s enough of a breeze that i’m beginning to smell Autumn in the air. the promise of it at least.

and inside the house is warm, and the cupboards are full, and the laundry and dishes and floors are dirty because family that was in town last week and i spent my time with them, cooking out, sitting around the firepit, going to the local fall festival with my husband and son to watch them spin themselves sick on rides while i ate fried food and waved.

and my son, he kissed me full on the mouth this morning and yelled “I love school!” before booking across the pavement, just a blur of Spiderman backpack and the orange soles of his shoes, running for kindergarten.

and my husband, of seven years come October, calls me things like “Mamasita” and “Pretty Pretty Princess” and yells things like “Shut up and write, why do you care if the dishes are dirty?” and links his ankle with mine when we sleep.

and there are pieces in my brain that magically crackle to life and create other worlds, and all i have to do is write them down. and show them to people if i want. and since i started showing them a few years ago, people started reading them. putting them in books with other stories. enjoying them. and the worlds and the words, they keep coming.

and my sister’s baby looks just like her, and she says “let’s spend time together,” and “i will read those chapters” and my mother and father sometimes have trouble walking, their hearts are so big.

and there are people stretched far and wide from down the road to across the globe that find me worth the time to converse with.

and. i. realize.

it’s late morning on a Tuesday, September 2013, and if my cup gets any more full of love and life and fresh air and human hearts and glow-in-the-dark paint, it will not runneth over, it will damn well collapse under the weight of all the things right in my world.

 

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Happy November! (Halloween Flashback)

 

 

The Better To Gag You With Cuteness, My Dear (AKA Soccer 2011)

eric’s birthday & adam’s letter to santa (photos)

sunday november 21st (photos)

they’re both almost too gorgeous to be real ❤

an evening of “theater”

munchkin is off to candyland for the night, so i’m forcing eric to go with me to see the jackson high school fall production of Alice In Wonderland. even though it will most likely suck. even though we will spend the majority of the evening gripping hands, gritting our teeth and avoiding eye contact to keep from bursting into laughter, and i will throw furtive glances around, trying still after all this time to steer clear of mr. kight.

why go? because i did it. because i loved the fall plays in high school. because we worked really fucking hard on a lump of shit, and got so excited about it, and there was never enough money or enough boys or even close to a full house. because even though the director always gave the prime roles to the girls from her church sunday school class and the REALLY NICE girl who couldn’t sing or act for shit but tried so hard you pitied her and goddamned if she didn’t go to the tanning bed the 3 weeks before opening night in her role as dracula’s wife because the sequined dress she was wearing as her costume would “just look weird” if she were pale, even though every year the backstage area was one big naked dressing room UNTIL the mormon kid told the principal and we had to start trekking up and down the stairs to the locker rooms to change, even though we mainly used our own costumes and makeup and money and ingenuity – it was still A STAGE.

we still got to be ON STAGE. and when i was 16, i had the best 2 months of my highschool experience after 2 new inexperienced directors signed on and cast all my friends and i in the leads. the play was super short so we had to re-write it, we made it naughty. drank before practice out of the tiny SoCo bottles from the liquor store. my best girl friend, best gay friend, and the boy all 3 of us had crushes on were the lead detectives in that play, and we had a blast. the play sucked, the acting was clunky and the rewrites got us in trouble, but damn we were famous for a weekend – and for a few weeks before that we were hardcore (half-drunk) SERIOUS actors.

true, at the time of the yearbook photos for this particular fall play i was being detained by a police officer in a cemetery for leaving my keys and purse in an unattended car (some flower-bringers had discovered it and called the po), and by the time everything was explained and we were free to go to practice we’d missed the pictures and my participation in this play is barely documented, it was a helluva time. best teenage autumn ever.

so. i’ll go. i won’t laugh in a way anyone can hear me. even though it’s the highschool play, it will be held in the middle school (which was the OLD highschool) because when they built the brand new highschool with the better-than-most-colleges football field, they didn’t put in a real auditorium. gotta do the plays at the middle school.  eh, teenage commerce. violence and sweat will always sell better than unintentional comedy.

and because it’s the fall play, my spirits will be riding high on nostalgia and there will be much debauchery afterwards…..

Indian Summer (photos)

Halloweens Past

“They” by Rudyard Kipling

(one of my top 5 favorite short stories)

“They”

One view called me to another; one hill top to its fellow, half across the county, and since I could answer at no more trouble than the snapping forward of a lever, I let the county flow under my wheels. The orchid-studded flats of the East gave way to the thyme, ilex, and grey grass of the Downs; these again to the rich cornland and fig-trees of the lower coast, where you carry the beat of the tide on your left hand for fifteen level miles; and when at last I turned inland through a huddle of rounded hills and woods I had run myself clean out of my known marks. Beyond that precise hamlet which stands godmother to the capital of the United States, I found hidden villages where bees, the only things awake, boomed in eighty-foot lindens that overhung grey Norman churches; miraculous brooks diving under stone bridges built for heavier traffic than would ever vex them again; tithe-barns larger than their churches, and an old smithy that cried out aloud how it had once been a hall of the Knights of the Temple. Gipsies I found on a common where the gorse, bracken, and heath fought it out together up a mile of Roman road; and a little further on I disturbed a red fox rolling dog-fashion in the naked sunlight.

   As the wooded hills closed about me I stood up in the car to take the bearings of that great Down whose ringed head is a landmark for fifty miles across the low countries. I judged that the lie of the country would bring me across some westward running road that went to his feet, but I did not allow for the confusing veils of the woods. A quick turn plunged me first into a green cutting brimful of liquid sunshine, next into a gloomy tunnel where last year’s dead leaves whispered and scuffled about my tyres. The strong hazel stuff meeting overhead had not been cut for a couple of generations at least, nor had any axe helped the moss-cankered oak and beech to spring above them. Here the road changed frankly into a carpeted ride on whose brown velvet spent primrose-clumps showed like jade, and a few sickly, white-stalked blue-bells nodded together. As the slope favoured I shut off the power and slid over the whirled leaves, expecting every moment to meet a keeper; but I only heard a jay, far off, arguing against the silence under the twilight of the trees.

   Still the track descended. I was on the point of reversing and working my way back on the second speed ere I ended in some swamp, when I saw sunshine through the tangle ahead and lifted the brake.

   It was down again at once. As the light beat across my face my fore-wheels took the turf of a great still lawn from which sprang horsemen ten feet high with levelled lances, monstrous peacocks, and sleek round-headed maids of honour — blue, black, and glistening — all of clipped yew. Across the lawn — the marshalled woods besieged it on three sides — stood an ancient house of lichened and weather-worn stone, with mullioned windows and roofs of rose-red tile. It was flanked by semi-circular walls, also rose-red, that closed the lawn on the fourth side, and at their feet a box hedge grew man-high. There were doves on the roof about the slim brick chimneys, and I caught a glimpse of an octagonal dove-house behind the screening wall.

   Here, then, I stayed; a horseman’s green spear laid at my breast; held by the exceeding beauty of that jewel in that setting.

   “If I am not packed off for a trespasser, or if this knight does not ride a wallop at me,” thought I, “Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth at least must come out of that half-open garden door and ask me to tea.”

   A child appeared at an upper window, and I thought the little thing waved a friendly hand. But it was to call a companion, for presently another bright head showed. Then I heard a laugh among the yew-peacocks, and turning to make sure (till then I had been watching the house only) I saw the silver of a fountain behind a hedge thrown up against the sun. The doves on the roof cooed to the cooing water; but between the two notes I caught the utterly happy chuckle of a child absorbed in some light mischief.

   The garden door — heavy oak sunk deep in the thickness of the wall — opened further: a woman in a big garden hat set her foot slowly on the time-hollowed stone step and as slowly walked across the turf. I was forming some apology when she lifted up her head and I saw that she was blind.

   “I heard you,” she said. “Isn’t that a motor car?”

   “I’m afraid I’ve made a mistake in my road. I should have turned off up above — I never dreamed –” I began.

   “But I’m very glad. Fancy a motor car coming into the garden! It will be such a treat –” She turned and made as though looking about her. “You — you haven’t seen any one, have you — perhaps?”

   “No one to speak to, but the children seemed interested at a distance.”

   “Which?”

   “I saw a couple up at the window just now, and I think I heard a little chap in the grounds.”

   “Oh, lucky you!” she cried, and her face brightened. “I hear them, of course, but that’s all. You’ve seen them and heard them?”

   “Yes,” I answered. “And if I know anything of children one of them’s having a beautiful time by the fountain yonder. Escaped, I should imagine.”

   “You’re fond of children?”

   I gave her one or two reasons why I did not altogether hate them.

   “Of course, of course,” she said. “Then you understand. Then you won’t think it foolish if I ask you to take your car through the gardens, once or twice — quite slowly. I’m sure they’d like to see it. They see so little, poor things. One tries to make their life pleasant, but –” she threw out her hands towards the woods. “We’re so out of the world here.”

   “That will be splendid,” I said. “But I can’t cut up your grass.”

   She faced to the right. “Wait a minute,” she said. “We’re at the South gate, aren’t we? Behind those peacocks there’s a flagged path. We call it the Peacock’s Walk. You can’t see it from here, they tell me, but if you squeeze along by the edge of the wood you can turn at the first peacock and get on to the flags.”

   It was sacrilege to wake that dreaming house-front with the clatter of machinery, but I swung the car to clear the turf, brushed along the edge of the wood and turned in on the broad stone path where the fountain-basin lay like one star-sapphire.

   “May I come too?” she cried. “No, please don’t help me. They’ll like it better if they see me.”

   She felt her way lightly to the front of the car, and with one foot on the step she called: “Children, oh, children! Look and see what’s going to happen!”

   The voice would have drawn lost souls from the Pit, for the yearning that underlay its sweetness, and I was not surprised to hear an answering shout behind the yews. It must have been the child by the fountain, but he fled at our approach, leaving a little toy boat in the water. I saw the glint of his blue blouse among the still horsemen.

   Very disposedly we paraded the length of the walk and at her request backed again. This time the child had got the better of his panic, but stood far off and doubting.

   “The little fellow’s watching us,” I said. “I wonder if he’d like a ride.”

   “They’re very shy still. Very shy. But, oh, lucky you to be able to see them! Let’s listen.”

   I stopped the machine at once, and the humid stillness, heavy with the scent of box, cloaked us deep. Shears I could hear where some gardener was clipping; a mumble of bees and broken voices that might have been the doves.

   “Oh, unkind!” she said weariedly.

   “Perhaps they’re only shy of the motor. The little maid at the window looks tremendously interested.”

   “Yes?” She raised her head. “It was wrong of me to say that. They are really fond of me. It’s the only thing that makes life worth living — when they’re fond of you, isn’t it? I daren’t think what the place would be without them. By the way, is it beautiful?”

   “I think it is the most beautiful place I have ever seen.”

   “So they all tell me. I can feel it, of course, but that isn’t quite the same thing.”

   “Then have you never?” I began, but stopped abashed.

   “Not since I can remember. It happened when I was only a few months old, they tell me. And yet I must remember something, else how could I dream about colours? I see light in my dreams, and colours, but I never see them. I only hear them just as I do when I’m awake.”

   “It’s difficult to see faces in dreams. Some people can, but most of us haven’t the gift,” I went on, looking up at the window where the child stood all but hidden.

   “I’ve heard that too,” she said. “And they tell me that one never sees a dead person’s face in a dream. Is that true?”

   “I believe it is — now I come to think of it.”

   “But how is it with yourself — yourself?” The blind eyes turned towards me.

   “I have never seen the faces of my dead in any dream,” I answered.

   “Then it must be as bad as being blind.”

   The sun had dipped behind the woods and the long shades were possessing the insolent horsemen one by one. I saw the light die from off the top of a glossy-leaved lance and all the brave hard green turn to soft black. The house, accepting another day at end, as it had accepted an hundred thousand gone, seemed to settle deeper into its rest among the shadows.

   “Have you ever wanted to?” she said after the silence.

   “Very much sometimes,” I replied. The child had left the window as the shadows closed upon it.

   “Ah! So’ve I, but I don’t suppose it’s allowed. . . . Where d’you live?”

   “Quite the other side of the county — sixty miles and more, and I must be going back. I’ve come without my big lamp.”

   “But it’s not dark yet. I can feel it.”

   “I’m afraid it will be by the time I get home. Could you lend me some one to set me on my road at first? I’ve utterly lost myself.”

   “I’ll send Madden with you to the cross-roads. We are so out of the world, I don’t wonder you were lost! I’ll guide you round to the front of the house; but you will go slowly, won’t you, till you’re out of the grounds? It isn’t foolish, do you think?”

   “I promise you I’ll go like this,” I said, and let the car start herself down the flagged path.

   We skirted the left wing of the house, whose elaborately cast lead guttering alone was worth a day’s journey; passed under a great rose-grown gate in the red wall, and so round to the high front of the house which in beauty and stateliness as much excelled the back as that all others I had seen.

   “Is it so very beautiful?” she said wistfully when she heard my raptures. “And you like the lead-figures too? There’s the old azalea garden behind. They say that this place must have been made for children. Will you help me out, please? I should like to come with you as far as the cross-roads, but I mustn’t leave them. Is that you, Madden? I want you to show this gentleman the way to the cross-roads. He has lost his way but — he has seen them.”

   A butler appeared noiselessly at the miracle of old oak that must be called the front door, and slipped aside to put on his hat. She stood looking at me with open blue eyes in which no sight lay, and I saw for the first time that she was beautiful.

   “Remember,” she said quietly, “if you are fond of them you will come again,” and disappeared within the house.

full story here:  http://gaslight.mtroyal.ca/they.htm

  

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