A New Year, In Photos

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Birthday Month (plus photos)

there have been almost 70 posts on the kid’s Birthday Wall, including videos and photos, and he is now pretty sure he’s the most beloved person on the face of the planet.

February is pretty much his month. We went to the aquarium on the actual day of his birthday, and though he’s been on the verge of succumbing to a full-on winter cold (we’ve all been teetering for weeks, it seems) there was still fun and starfish-petting and even a little bike-riding. More pictures of his subsequent grandparent parties later. For now: Aquarium!!

And thank you to everyone who has posted on the Birthday Wall. Especially to Boden (we’ve watched Octopadi FOUR HUNDRED TIMES), Sean (the cry “Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!” was a novel idea to this chld and he repeated it streaking like a demon through the house many, many times) and eddy (came through with the Gaga!).

This cold, COLD sunday morning we have snow, four pairs of cardinals just outside the window, the most horrible movie in the world (the Care Bears Movie), a sleeping devil cat and a floor full of matchbox cars….

 

groundhog day

today is the other side of the coin from yesterday. yesterday was exuberance. today is…. well, grey, with high winds and snow flurries. catatonia. veins filling with glucose, slack jaw, auto pilot, unplugged, other words like that.

yesterday i spammed by email and facebook about the thundadome story. that was fun (for me, maybe not so much for acquaintances). the sun was out. adam was in a fabulous mood. eric was high on the possibility of a job change (and possibly ether exposure).

the newest groundhog says winter is over, and i say that groundhog is a liar.

in other news, why i love andrea zito:

dead crab vs. dead crab by ARZ

the things i’ve seen in january….

yes, Magneto IS in that Nativity scene. as well as a dinosaur. earlier today the baby Jesus was playing in an unoccupied terrarium with two sheep a helicopter, and a cow…..

Jason Statham

that’s just the title because i don’t have one, and i was thinking of him.

the snow has stopped. eric worked 12 & 1/2 hrs today, (yesterday – whatever, it’s 1am), crazy overtime the day before, too. adam pops up and runs to the window when headlights appear on nights daddy isn’t home on time.

my brain is working. i took a hop skip and jump ahead and started brain-writing from there. what was it my horoscope said? avoid your escape reflex. i think i just effectively ignored that, leapt my snags and rewrites, and started thinking out scenes that are only single lines in my notebook outline.

i don’t know how to work the photo software on this mac, all my pictures are piling up and it’s making me insane. my son has new hair. the puppies are growing up. the SNOW. all i have to use is from my phone:

i didn’t originally intend to do that, but i know little enough about this stupid computer as to be having trouble with the phone photos, too, so fuck it. this is the only photo i can access, saved on my desktop for screensaver purposes. it balances the post title anyway.

snow, etc.

the snow is having a strange effect on my conscious and subconscious. i think it’s shutting me down – i don’t feel sad, or tired, or frustrated…. just … nothing. the deeper the snow the more disconnected i feel. all the rapidly spinning and creaking wheels and gears are sloooowing down, groaning – not stopping, mind you, just slowing down to minimum function.

i’m only technically conscious.

no writing. in the past couple days, no editing or reconstructing, either. mainly just staring. i can feel ideas stirring, beginning to wake up, trying to move around in the sludge, but my subconscious gives a big yawn and i feel that under-the-skin twitchiness that means things i don’t know about are cooking, i can feel it become still. winding down. like the key needs turned.

that knot on the back of my head from the bolt on the underside of the swing – that’s where the key goes. someone needs to shove something in there and give it a good crank, and soon. late at night, i can open an in-progress chapter, or a document i want to do notes on, and stare at the screen for an hour (yes, an hour) with my fingers over the keyboard. not reading. not contemplating, not daydreaming. not watching tv. just being unplugged.

january is a suck-ass month. the thing is, i love snow. i love to watch it snow. but it has a sedative effect on my brain, my creativity, my ability to form thoughts and ideas….

i opened the ‘new post’ page four times this morning before typing anything. just sat here, fingers over the keyboard. staring out the window at the swirling falling snow. occasionally sipping coffee. adam is next to me with a notebook and coloring book, a box of crayons and a bucket full of markers and colored pencils. deep in thought.

if i could crawl in bed and open the curtains, lie for hours watching the snow fall, thinking nothing, lost in limbo, stuck in the place between thoughts, i would.

not unhappy. not anything.

this is winter.

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