2016 Scares the Shit Out of Me




It’s only the 2nd day of the year, nice easy Saturday night full of peppermint candy, Lana Del Rey and sleeping dogs.

Last night was Sherlock’s ‘The Abominable Bride’ (which was better than all of S3 put together, and I loved S3), and this afternoon was ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ with my almost-8-yr-old son in his Darth Vader sweatshirt and my cool-as-hell hubby (and it was GREAT! I was afraid to hope, after the prequels). So. I’m high on Moriarty and Chewbacca.

The year ahead lies sprawled in an almost impossible glowing light. These Lite Brite blips of things to come, and they seem too good to be true:

  • the first edition of Menacing Hedge I’ve worked on as full-fledged co-fiction editor with my incestuous sibling Craig Wallwork, out pretty much anytime – and conspiring with the beautiful crew there
  • more and more unbelievable announcements about the Gutted:Beautiful Horror anthology – just a lil ole book coming out this year with me in it….AND Neil Gaiman, Clive Barker, Paul Tremblay, Damien Angelica Walters, Richard Thomas…that’s not even all!! It’s just too hard to type out all the names, and they’re not even DONE with the ToC!
  • AWP LA, which I guess is some sort of “conference” or something, but whatever – I’ll be spending April Fool’s Day in California with the crew that welcomed me into the bosom of ‘Warmed and Bound’ nearly five years ago, only that crew times ten…ocean and bowling and books with some of the best people I’ve ever met or am about to
  • Tentative plans for a vast and ambitious family vacation that, worst case scenario, would take place next summer instead of this one
  • Tentative plans to finish a semi-vast and very-ambitious linked short story collection surrounding the concept of Frankenstein’s Monster and the freedom from the burden of chronological memory…that, worst case scenario, will be completed next summer instead of this one (it would take some massive laziness to drag out an entire extra year)
  • Jewelry – Jewelry!! Work!! They call it work, I call it a kitchen and laboratory full of adoptive family, gems, and magic lasers and elf-sized tools. They let me hang out there, and talk about movies and gold and life, and pay me for it…
  • my son and I have started the Harry Potter series, a mere two hours ago, and he’s into it
  • Richard Thomas has extracted a promise for a story from me for Gamut, which seems like something I should have to fight to get into
  • Craig Clevenger wants to podcast with me for a couple guest episodes of Booked.
  • My sister is going to give me another niece or nephew – another minion for my son!

Can I just stop there, and take a breath?

My fear is justified, yes?

Because this is my life, and I want to deserve it. I want to deserve the people and the love and the pictures in my brain and the roof over my head and the happiness,

and I don’t want to take a breath, or cough, for fear I’ll wake….

So, before I do, in this world now I want to say: I love you all. I appreciate you all. You’re heavy and light and wispy and warm in your love and support and confidence and laughter and conspiratorial smiles. My family, my friends, my work family, my writing , my reading compadres, my Sherlock-fiends, my fellow mothers of beautiful strong babes, my ladies in the shadows that whisper to me that I’m good enough.

Thank you. By the Stars and the Moonlight and the magic of breathing, I wish you all as beautiful a 2016 as you’ve made possible for me, just by being a part of my life.




(Magical Shiny Shoes to dance through the year)

HALLOWEEN IS HERE! Family Trick or Treat & Booked. Spookedtacular!

Happy Halloween! It may be rainy and damp, but the weak light and various colds have not dampened spirits this week. Below, see what happens when my son says “Star Wars” and then listen to what happens when Booked. says “What plan? It’s Halloween!” Thanks for a helluva week.

Also, ‘sexy’ Han Solo is just Han Solo – dig my lean….



Click the Booked. pumpkin to be transported to the SPOOKEDTACULAR!!

Click the Booked. pumpkin to be transported to the SPOOKEDTACULAR!!



and it begins!!

i think spring might finally be here. the sun shines, birds sing, cheshire cat eats the food eric slips out for her, nests are full, grass green..

snapshot: minnie mouse on the couch beside me seemngly holding a light saber, adam is playing with daddy in the bed “you be a kitty and i’ll be a LION!” or “you be a puppy and i’ll be lady gaga!” they laugh and i love morning. i have coffee and my hair is very glamour shots from restless sleep. socks don’t match. there’s a third of a banana somewhere, adam was holding it before he climbed in bed. note to self: track down banana.

adam has returned. “do all cars got mouths? do all cars got lights?”  a serious discussion in bed this morning while adam climbed daddy’s legs like a rollercoaster revealed: i would be C3Po. eric would be Obi Wan. the discussion changes but the result is always the same…

worked late with beth last night. we are knocking this storyline out! hope to have some finished pro-looking presentation stuff at the beginning of the week. we have characters, setting, main plot points (most of them), a sense of 3 acts, and a definite beginning and end (plus alternate ending!). we rock.

75  events the next couple weeks. that’s an exaggeration, but we have a wedding and a Bear Toons Show on saturday, storygroup easter party tuesday, reptile night at the library thursday, kenworth easter egg hunt saturday, mom church easter egg hunt following wednesday, eric tattoo saturday, easter service sunday… there’s more but i’m bored of it and adam is taking pictures of minnie.

happy spring!! we’ll be outside today!!

Poison Ivy & Harley Quinn

headcold household, day 3, last day. over the course of sunday and yesterday, eric and adam have managed to watch almost all 3 original star wars movies – they have 45 minutes of Return of the Jedi left, which i suspect they will finish tonight. adam’s favorite is R2D2, which he pronounces slighly different each time. he gets a consistent 3 out of 4 of the letter/number combo right. he also says yoda is a cat, a GIRL cat, and calls him toyoda (like “toyota,”  hot wheels enthusiast that he is) half the time. it’s been a pretty good sick household. characterized mainly by exhaustion and mouth-breathing as opposed to crankiness and coughing – i’ll take the former combination any day.

but we’re getting better. if eric could curl up on the couch with us it would almost be a pleasant sickness, it’s just bone-cold rain and grey skies outside the last few days anyway. being sick while the sun shines is a waste. being sick while it rains cold november – i’m gonna pull myslef quickly away from a guns n roses reference and move along – anyway, sick in this weather is just good time management. get the change of seasons colds out of the way before the sun comes back.

plus, cold pills make me sleep like the dead, so i’ve not been fighting the insomnia. i sleep through the night and hear nothing – unless adam speaks. it’s a weird characteristic of motherhood – eric can rattle around in the room, fight the dogs on the porch, i don’t hear a thing – but if the kid sits up across the hall and peeps “mommy?”  i’m immediately conscious. only children’s voices would call people back through a ouija board, i think. only your child’s voice could pull you back from the dead places. morbid maybe in what is essentially a christmas shopping post, but true. you can only wake your parents from the dead….

SO. point was, i started wandering around on etsy looking for xmas presents of the affordable and original variety while the boys bonded over “light savers,” and while shopping for a nameless lady friend in the owl watch section i ended up in the batman section and remembered either falsely or by actual memory her fondness for Poison Ivy, and from there of course wandered into the bizarre relationship with Harley Quinn, whom i only knew a few details about – since last night i have submerged myself in a cold pill haze of comic book pages, cartoon clips and fan art based around Ivy & Harley, and may have stumbled into an entirely new framework to show love, and caricature our relationship in a fun and gorgeous way…. that is, IF her love of Poison Ivy is not false memory…. 

all i’ve actually ordered so far is 2 sets of aqua globes for the females-in-law. kiddo is eating appleasauce and mouth-breathing watching ppg while i drink coffee and watch batman cartoons on youtube…. and you know what?? poison ivy was based on bettie page. whoda thought?