the past according to magazines….

i love Reminisce magazine. i never throw them away, i just store them and dog-ear pages with the intention of cutting out the best pictures – no idea what to do with them. some are perfect to be taping into my map/brainstorm notebook, some i could send to jane in a letter, some i could pin to the fridge with alphabet magnets. i love the old cars and family photos, the dolls, service photos, kodachrome color slides. the misplaced letters that led to marriages, the ice skates paid off on christmas eve, anonymously. i love the hearing aid ads, recipes, the section where people do nothing but inquire about the verses to a nursery rhyme or ask about cross-stitch patterns.

i don’t know what i’m rambling about. it’s closing on 2am and i’m watching Investigation Discovery and looking at Reminisce magazine at the same time. it defies logic. look at that little fire truck! what? her throat was slit?

there are a million dishes, and i can’t do a puzzle till i go through the mail and clear off the table. my sis feels far away, i can feel her sinking and re-absorbing into her family, i can feel myself and my son fade from the picture, like that photo marty carried around in Back to the Future…

eric is incredible. he hasn’t really commented on my lack of movement. he just offers love and room for me to stumble around.

christmas is closing in, and this gorgeous tree and gorgeously lit green skull are begging me to PLEASE stop being a big selfish baby and start wrapping some presents or learning to navigate word documents on the mac or clip out the pictures or go to bed – SOMETHING.

soon. one more day. i’ll have wednesday, and thursday i’ll shake this weight off my ankles and clean the house. but i need one more day….. 

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