Christian Slater, Angela & the USO Pre-Execution Show

Exact transcript of the email i typed and sent to angela immediately upon getting out of bed and adam settled into dumptruck activity earlier this morning – totally void of proof-reading. i didn’t pause from opening the email to pressing send, but i see now that “pess” should be “press” and “playbo” should be “playboy” – “himmery” is “shimmery” and so on….. also the shackled husband at the end was in jon favreau form, i think that’s worth noting… most importantly, of course “feath row” should be “death row” 🙂 angela will translate without difficulty, i am sure….

 

“hey i just woke up like just woke up, i’lll explain that part later, but anyway i had this dream in which you were prominently featured and when i checked my phone i saw that you’d emailed and that seemed like a sign that i was supposed toinform you of this ridiculous and vivid dream before it faded.

in the dream i was dating/married to a jon favreau/jason statham mesh (weird yes but it gets weirder) and he was on feath row, and we were there for the execution and it was a very big deal but definately nothng anyone seemd to be trying to get him out of – there was never a mention of what he had done. anyway the whole thing was taking place at this big resort, we were somewhere in connecticut but like on the beach, at this huge beach resort type place (i don’t know who the we was as you weren’t there yet, heather was though) and there were all these celebrities there for the “event” that my husband knew or whatever, like usher and p diddy and christian slater on and on oh and ludacris, not sure why all the rap dudes… anyway, all these people, and it was being organized and covered by the pess and there was all this good coffee everywhere ready in the pots and the guards and cops were very subtly dressed etc, and my husband was allowed limited visitation – as in i never once got close enough to talk to him but i saw him sitting with christian slater and two strippers and usher in a quiet room at one point, and started to get pissed, but then realized how silly that was. christain slater was christian slater’s character in Very bad Things. SO – i decided i wanted to put on a production – a one last show type deal for my husband, and as the execution was to happen that same weekend i had NO TIME to get this stuff together, but it seemed very important i try to do something to make the whole thing less somber and something for him, etc etc, and it was to be a SURPRISE, that night, and i enlisted the help of christian slater to help me – i wanted to put on a 1940’s style USO show, with the singing an all, and interestingly enough, this is where you come in. because in the dream, this type of boogie woogie bugle boy show singing outfit thing was your THING, as in “angela has to be here we have to have angela without angela this cannot be done” and christian slater was helping me and calling people and finding you and flying you in, and you were bringing the music and an assortment of what dresses.costumes you could gather, adn christian slater was having the stage built and finding us a 3rd girl (Comfort, the hip-hop dancer from So You Think You Can Dance, it turns out) and getting the emceeing ready (Ludacris) and all this, and amid trying to greet/console, you and i and comfort had this huge thrown together suite full of poofy dresses and 1950’s playbo outfits and were trying to get some dance moves together and get our song learned (we were doing boogie woogie bugle boy, i think) and it was all very furtive and we kept listening to the immaculate collection and not getting any practicing done because there was no TIME – but it all kind of came together and the stage, and at the last minute the electricity was lost in the auditorium but luckily Ludacris had bought a bunch of those moon jars incase of emergency and they were able to light the place and set it all up like the chairs and everything for the show and get our equipment running, and then the electricity came back on just in time for everyone to come in and us to be dressed and ready to perform – we were unprepared as shit, none of us knew the song or had matching dance moves ready, we had been (as in you and i once you got there) hanging out on the beach quite a bit and talking to celebrities over the course of the day as opposed to practice, but once the curtain went up and the lights came on, all of our try-to synchronize stuff and fumbling lyrics and all was very endearing and entertaining and people laughed and clapped and we did just the one song and everyone stood up and clapped and my husband (shackled and in a wheelchair off to the side urrounded by guards) was ecstatically happy about the whoel thing, and we were all hugging and jumping up and down and i remember having one of those movie moment “i couldn’t have doen it without you” moments with chrisian slater who was my husband’s best friend, and i remember thinking very distinctly while i was hugging him “oh, we’re going to have sex after this execution, but it doesn’t matter because there will be no one to get pissed about it….”

that’s it, then adam came in and woke me up and i saw the phone blinking and got on here. now i’ve gotta mke eggs. can you dance? our dresses were dark blue and simmery, by the way. and we had little gloves. no time to reread this.”

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